I Don't Know

      There are many, many things I don't know yet. Things I can not seem to find an answer for in a book, or in advice from a friend. I am never more aware of these weaknesses when my kids come up against something and I just don't know the right way to handle it.
     I know, with certainty, that I can not fix it all. I can not solve every problem, and even if I could, I wouldn't. They have to learn to handle themselves. They have to realize that some problems are their own to navigate through. I can not do it all. It's difficult to not champion them at every turn. Hard to not become the warrior they need, instead of letting them become their own warrior.
     I want them all to learn that some things are not worth getting upset about, and some things are. I struggle with teaching them which is which.
     When a kid gets into my car in the afternoon and has had a rotten day because someone made a nasty comment....well, the Mom in me wants to track down the mean girls and.....sit them down for a talk. Or something. But I also want my kids to learn that they can not listen to every nasty comment and let it derail their day. I do not know how to teach them to develop a thicker skin, without developing a harder heart.
     I don't know the right way to explain that in 15 years, they will run into one of these mean girls and wonder what in Heaven's name was so important about seeking their acceptance during high school. I know. It's happened to me. Then I think back to my high school days and I remember that I was the same. Searching for acceptance. Devastated by criticism. In some ways, with some people, I'm still that girl. I am still hoping for the approval of a few select people. I don't know if it will ever come.
     I don't know how to handle what I don't know. I want the four of them to be good people, I want to teach them to turn the other cheek, but I don't know where the line between 'turn the other cheek' and 'enough is enough already' is located. I don't know.
     For now, I suppose, I will try and remind them that *I* accept them. That everyone has bad days and critics. That in the grand scheme of things, a few rude girls in high school will probably be the least of their life's problems. That there are people in the world with far more serious problems than someone not liking them. I want them to learn the lesson in being the one who is criticized, and to remember that feeling before they do the same thing to someone else. I don't know if it will work. I don't know if it will be enough. I don't know if one day they will remember this time and wish I had done something more. I just don't know.