It's been awhile!
We're still kicking in the big, white house in the country....as I type this I am waiting for the oven timer to tell me the next pan of cookies are done, there's Christmas music playing, the girls and I have been dancing away the afternoon and somewhere...somewhere out there far away, my dad's eyeballs have rolled clean out of his head because of what he's seeing at my house today.
I'll admit that I was having a difficult time finding the holiday spirit until today. Let's face it, there's nothing holy or sacred about a twelve hour shopping marathon. There was too much mayhem and sadness on the news the last ten days for me to find the fun in the holiday. There were too many stories of, "What if that were me.." or "Dear God, why??" And then....then I started to see Christmas through Zoe's eyes. Then I caught a glimpse of Ashley and Brianna dancing to Christmas music in the kitchen, and now I'm hooked. I'm in it with both feet now.
That doesn't mean that I'm not remembering how lucky I am. That I haven't thanked God a million times today alone for giving me the chance to stand in this kitchen, on this day, with these kids and this man. I'm well aware that there are families out there grieving so deeply that words can't possibly express how they hurt. I guess the miracle in all of it is that I can grieve with them and for them, while also immersing myself in the people that I love.
So, the cookies will get baked. The presents will get wrapped. There's a pot roast going, and church tonight and Santa has a pretty strict Christmas Eve rule about bedtime that no one will be brave enough to breach. (Except the present wrapper. She will probably just be going to bed around the time that the first kid is sneaking down the stairs.)
It's Christmas. A really long time ago, a baby was born in a manger. And because of that, I will wake up tomorrow and celebrate His birthday with MY babies. Talk about blessed.
Merry Christmas
