I came across a post of Facebook tonight that has me trapped in the past. It was a humorous post about the Faces of Call Center workers, and I recognized myself in most of the pictures. I laughed and shared and started thinking about the jobs I've had since I was old enough to hold a job. I've had some interesting ones. Jobs that have taught me about myself and my fellow man. Jobs that have taught me what I am NOT, and the limits of my fellow man. Jobs that I would rank on a 1 to 10 scale of Better or Worse Than Scrubbing Toilets. Jobs that, for one reason or another, I still miss to this day.
My first 'real' job was as a bus-person in a Steakhouse that also had Keno and a bar. I was sixteen years old. I started on a VERY busy Friday night, called in last minute fifteen minutes before my shift, because the coworker who was supposed to train me the following night failed to show up for work. (Something that became a regular event.) I was required to wear a white shirt and jeans. My duties included filling iced tea, water and coffee, and given that coordination has never been my strong suit, I was nervous. My mantra for that first four hour shift was "Do Not Spill, Do Not Spill, Do Not Spill." I am happy to say that I spilled a lot of things on myself, but never on anyone else. Sometimes God does hear our prayers. I cleared and cleaned tables, stocked clean glasses, helped waitresses wrap silverware, I brought customers condiments and coffee and cream. I served. And learned to appreciate when I was being served something. I learned the value of saying 'Thank You'. I figured out pretty quick that you get more flies (and better tips) with honey. I met one of my best friends. I despised my chauvinistic boss, and I loved my weekend half-drunk-very-likely-to-over-tip customers. I also learned that sometimes drunk people are very, very skeevy and I learned how to watch the parking lot for creepers when I left. I learned that minimum wage was $4.25, and that $4.25 an hour times 19 or 20 hours a week meant I was destined to drive a car that NEVER started, and even when it did, never had enough gas to 'cruise the square' more than once on the way home. I left, very irresponsibly, after a Saturday night argument with my boss, by not showing up for work on Sunday morning to set up the buffet. I think about that, and I still feel guilty. **Confidential to Mel: If you happen to be reading this, I am SO, SO sorry. I was an ass. What more can I say? I loved working with you.
Shortly after I quit the steakhouse, I started a job in the deli of the local grocery store. I had to wear a smock and a hat. I went to work every single day looking absolutely ridiculous. And I learned that sometimes, if you want a paycheck, you have to sacrifice a little pride. I learned how to properly mop a floor. I learned that Wednesday was Senior Citizen's Day, and those blue hairs WILL fight you for their discount, even on a 30 cent cup of coffee. I also learned that sometimes, those blue hairs came in to drink coffee and fight off loneliness, and that taking five minutes out of your day to LISTEN costs nothing. I learned how to perfectly fry an over-easy egg, and I learned that the flat-top grill is very freaking hot. I emptied the grease from the fryer, I scrubbed pots and pans, and I learned to be accountable for the cash register that hated my breathing guts and refused to open without first screaming a series of ear-splitting beeps. I learned to laugh at myself. I learned that a lunch (main dish and two sides) was $3.14 with tax, and I learned how to make change quickly during the lunch rush. I was taught to slice deli meat and cheese with a giant silver slicer by a man who I am sure got into Heaven based solely on the fact that he found the patience to teach me. I learned the art of keeping your mouth shut and your head down, because one of my best friends happened to be the daughter of my boss. I learned first hand why it's a bad idea to date co-workers, and I learned that going to work at 6 in the morning, hung-over, and being required to cook and serve breakfast meats and eggs is not a ton of fun. **Confidential to Deb- I love you. I love your hubby. You guys made my life so much fun.
My boss at the deli also cooked on Friday and Saturday nights in a tiny little bar about 10 minutes from my hometown. The bar was looking for a waitress on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. In retrospect, I believe it is possible that me coming to work at the deli hung over is the reason she offered me this 'opportunity', perhaps in the hope that I would be too tired to have any 'fun' after running my sorry ass off all night waitressing. Thursday nights were Taco night, Friday was Prime Rib night, and Saturday was Hamburger night. I served so many plates of red meat in that tiny dining room, I sometimes feel like I owe the bovine community a deep and heartfelt apology. I worked hard. I made VERY little. My fellow waitress (when she showed up at all) often stole my tips, meager though they were. I learned that not everyone is your friend. I learned that sometimes, the crap you have to put up with just isn't worth it. I learned what it was like to work at a job that you hate. I was afraid to quit. I didn't want make my deli boss look bad for recommending me. So I served up plates of bleeding beef and picked up shredded lettuce off the floor while I seethed with hatred for just about everyone in the building. I learned the art of flirting to get a bigger tip, and I learned that when pushed to the limit, just before I break, my eyes turn vibrantly green and the world stops turning and my heartbeat pounds in my ears, and that, right there, is the moment I should always, always walk away. Confidential to Thieving Waitress Whose Name I Do Not Recall- I ran out of gas because of your thievery on the way home. Twice. You owe me.
I worked at the deli until I graduated from high school. I found a full time job in an envelope factory, and I put my two weeks in, and said goodbye to the ludicrous hat and homely smock. I never missed them even once.
The envelope factory was my first full time job. It was the first job I worked at that paid more than minimum wage. I worked second shift, and I learned that there is still plenty of fun to be had after 11pm when you aren't required to cook anything at 6 a.m. The plant was blazing hot in the summers and dirty and loud and I worked hard and a lot of the time, alone. I learned that my body was capable of much more than I thought and I learned to drink water and not soda. I learned that getting a raise feels amazing, and I learned how difficult it is to work with family. I learned that paychecks aren't guaranteed, and that lay-offs happen, and I learned that third shift and I will never be compatible. I learned that there is no point in whining to coworkers who are just as tired and sore as you, and I learned to take safety around large machines very seriously. I learned to work sick, and I learned to never, ever, not even if my life depends on it, lick the glue to seal an envelope. Like, EVER. I learned to take responsibility and apologize for a huge screw up, and I learned to double check when someone says, "I think so", even if that person is your boss. I also learned that the idyllic small town I grew up in had some very shady characters, and I learned to lock my car doors and hide my wallet. I left the envelope factory for health reasons. And then I learned that just because you want to go back, doesn't always mean you can. Confidential to Tammy- Thanks for letting me make up stupid reasons to come into the office to talk to you when we both knew I was really coming in for the air conditioning.
I moved out of the small town I grew up in and started college. My classes were Monday through Thursday, and I found myself a job in the call center that I referenced above, which was the reason this whole post came into existence in the first place. I got hired at the call center the moment I handed in my application. The young woman who hired me asked if I wanted to start that evening. It should have been a red flag. It should have made me wonder why, in God's Holy Name, this place would want someone with zero sales experience that badly. I was naive and broke and I took a ginormous pay cut, and I took it happily. It was both inbound and outbound telemarketing. The new hires started in outbound. I learned how to sit at a cubicle. I learned that just because someone ACTS important, doesn't necessarily mean they aren't squatting in someone else's office, trying to impress other coworkers. I learned never to have a catch phrase. I learned how to get screamed at in several different dialects of the English language, and I learned that if somebody doesn't have cable television, it's because they either can't afford it or don't want it. I learned that people CAN hate you, despite never having laid eyes on you. I learned to type fast, and talk slower and I learned that the gas station across the parking lot had the very best burritos I have ever tasted. I learned the reason you don't have an open container around a keyboard, and I learned that creepy is creepy, no matter what part of the country you happen to be speaking to. I learned how to cry quietly in the bathroom. I learned that dealing with negativity all the time spills over into my psyche and makes me difficult to love, or even like. I moved to inbound telemarketing within about six week of starting the job. I thought my troubles were over. I sat back and waited for my phone to ring. Then it did. And I learned, once again, that all important lesson about honey and flies. I was basically the complaint department for the cable television we were selling. I learned to be so nice it hurts, even when you are getting screamed at. I learned that the person on the other end of the phone often has no power and no control. I learned to be polite and apologize for things that weren't my fault. I learned that a certain cable company will not reimburse anyone for any pornography that a customer orders, 'accidentally' or not. I learned that my boss was required to make 'ghost calls' to check my performance, and I learned that even though I despised every moment I spent with that headset on, I could still cheat the system and end up with a raise if I "played the game'. I learned that I did not like playing the game. I learned that it is possible for me to wake up one morning and be unable to convince myself to spend another moment doing a job. I learned to go in anyway. I learned to lie. I learned to use being a girl as an excuse for way too many bathroom breaks. I learned that the world will not end if you simply hang up during the middle of an irate customer's abusive speech, and walk out the door. I learned that if you are going to quietly sneak out of your job, you had better remember to grab your car keys. **Confidential to Todd: I know you aren't reading this, but I just have to say, I hope you still work in that call center. You deserve it. "BE ON THE PHONE!" Also, if I may make a suggestion? If you are going to be a squatter in somebody else's office, the least you should do is hide the pictures of their family.
After the telemarketing, I got a job as an office temp. I spent a lot of time driving around looking for addresses that I am fairly certain don't exist. I learned that my sense of direction is almost nonexistent. I learned to make coffee in no less than forty-seven different kinds of coffee makers. I learned that I love order and organization. I learned to say goodbye to people I genuinely liked. I learned what it was like to envy a person for the work they did. I learned that I have a very difficult time adjusting to too much change.
My last temp job sent me to a doctor's office to reorganize medical records. I stayed on as a permanent employee of the clinic. I stayed for nearly four years. I learned to alphabetize without having to say the whole alphabet in my head. I learned what it was like to love the work I was doing. I learned medical records and I learned reception, and I learned transcription, and I loved every moment of it. I met another best friend. I learned to fight for the money I deserved. I learned to look forward to five o'clock on Fridays and to dread Monday mornings. I learned that it's okay to immerse yourself in work to escape a nightmare personal life. I learned that a five minute smoke break is plenty of time. I learned that good people will stab you in the back to save themselves. I learned to make friends with the building maintenance guys. I learned how to say painful goodbyes and I learned that it's okay to take a risk and leave what you know and love for the unknown. **Confidential to George and Frank: I am the one who kept switching your radio from polka to hard rock. I have had a lot of nicknames over the years, but none that I loved as much as when the two of you happily called out, "Red!" every morning for three years. I missed you when you left. I missed you when I left. I miss you now. "If I were 40 years older..... ;)"
After I left the clinic, I worked at a life insurance company. My job was to basically send out faxes to doctor's offices to collect medical records, and to make phone calls to ensure that the faxes I had sent were received and records were en route to our office. I learned that I like to be busy. I learned to ask for more responsibility then to handle it. I learned that sometimes coworkers don't want to be friends. I learned that 'business casual' means a lot of different things to different people. I learned that Employee of the Month gets pretty good parking, but not much else. I learned that a different job was calling to my soul and I left. **Confidential to Wendy: You were a great boss. I liked working for you. I'm not sorry I left, and thanks for understanding why I did.
The job that came after the insurance company taught me more than all of the previous jobs combined, and then some. This job taught me that there is something so much bigger and more important than a paycheck. The job is hard, and often thankless and most of the time it's dirty, but it's also the most fun I have ever had and the best I have ever been. This job has taught me to be grateful and to count every blessing. At this job, I am called Mom. I'm still working on this job. I'm still learning exactly what it is I am supposed to be doing. It's the scariest job I've ever had, and the most rewarding. It's the job I was always meant to do. **Confidential to the Kiddos: I love you. So much. So. Very. Much.
After a relocation, circumstances forced me to accept another telemarketing job. Inbound calls only. I lasted three weeks before I found a factory job that paid better. I learned that you can make it through any number of hours if you have something at home that is worth suffering for. **Confidential to the Teenagers That I Worked With: I know that by now you are all old enough to buy your own, but NO, I will STILL not buy you beer.
The factory job that I went to after the brief reentry into telemarketing let me use power tools. I'm not sure any of us has ever fully recovered. I liked it there. I learned to work with my hands and build something and I learned to take pride in a VERY hard day's work. I learned that men habitually underestimate women. I learned to find the good in a lot of ugliness. **Confidential to 'Santa': You will never know what you meant to me. Your patience, the grace with which you carried your grief, your laugh, your smile, your puppy pictures.....you made a very hard time easier, just by taking me under your wing. I hope Angel gave you lots of Grand-Puppies.
After the factory job, I went back to Mom-ing full time. And then I went back to a doctor's office. And, while I loved the office job, I found that I love Mom-ing a lot more. So I did that for awhile, until I got a full time job doing daycare out of my house. And I did that for awhile until I got a job doing daycare somewhere else. I've learned patience, and practicality. I've learned that M & M's are like gold to a three year old. I've learned to be quieter and I'm learning that kids will always surprise you. I'm learning that you can love someone but also be secretly thrilled to see them leave. I've learned that sometimes you have to let a kid throw themselves down and kick and scream until they feel better. I've learned that spaghetti is my least favorite lunch, and that sometimes you can not wash your hands enough. I've learned to listen and hear what someone can not say. I'm still learning.
I don't know what anyone else's list looks like, but I know this, I've loved learning the lessons. I've loved sitting here, late into the night when I should be sleeping (because I have to work tomorrow!) thinking about the people that I've worked with and laughing at the ridiculous things I did and crying about the things I can't undo and the goodbyes that I'm never going to get to say. I'm grateful, SO grateful.
***John 5:17 But Jesus answered them, "My Father is working until now, and I am working."
